Some Random Notes http://somerandomnotes.posterous.com Random Notes posterous.com Sun, 17 Jul 2011 14:45:00 -0700 Banned at Hugo Schwyzer's blog http://somerandomnotes.posterous.com/banned-at-hugo-schwyzers-blog http://somerandomnotes.posterous.com/banned-at-hugo-schwyzers-blog
Update:

I also posted this comment to Hugo's original column at The Good Men Project: http://goodmenproject.com/good-feed-blog/cuckolding-is-the-worst-thing-that-c... where it has been in the moderation queue for more than 18 hours and has at least seven more comments appearing after it.

The Good Men Project clearly is not going to allow it to post, even though the comment is on topic and polite, but merely questions the behaviors of their author.

That's one thing we all need to keep in mind whenever we see comments in a thread, especially if the comments seem to point to consensus.  What comments aren't you seeing?  What is the blog's stated comment policy, and how do you know if they hold to that.

And if you check out the Good Men Project, there is no email address of anyone that would seem to be in charge of what is posted or not, or who to speak with, for a "magazine" that actually obtained funding (they brag of $500,000) they keep their contact list pretty well hidden.

At Hugo's blog, a commenter Catie asked:

"So does anyone have any idea why men are so interested in equating paternity issues with rape? This seems to be a trend in some of the responses to this story? Here’s one example from the Goodmen Project:"

I responded at:

"@Catie,

“So does anyone have any idea why men are so interested in equating paternity issues with rape?”

I’ll give you my very quick thoughts on the subject, but I am sure there are others that can give you far longer, more nuanced, …

1. Informed consent. Ted was not able to give informed consent to his fatherhood. Jill and Hugo conspired to take that away from Ted. Think of you being given a roofie and then raped.

2. Use of coercion and force. From the very day the birth certificate is signed by Ted, regardless of the true nature of who the biological father is, Ted is on the hook financially until the child is 18 (and actually in some cases longer) for Hugo’s child. As you know this is not an insignificant burden and will effect Ted’s entire life. If he has a divorce, it will limit his dating choices, it will limit his career, it will limit his ability to travel, study, take new jobs.

If he cannot pay child support, the state will use ways to coerce him, regardless of ability to pay. He will be shamed on billboards, he may lose his driver’s license or other professional licenses, he may even end up in jail.

This can happen once the birth certificate is signed even if the court discovers that Hugo is the father.

The court will be able to do this because inevitably, the court can rely on the state to bring guns and other force to bear against Ted, regardless of his choice.

Many people, including women, believe this is at least as equivalent to many rapes as there can be.

This is why I ask, and I’ve asked this three times, and Hugo has NEVER responded: what does Hugo think in 2011, is his obligations to another person that he sees being harmed.

Does he have an obligation to stop a mugging he witnesses? To stop a rape? To stop fraud from being committed?

Hugo in 2011, still rationalizes, and excuses his behavior from 1997. He still thinks he made the right decision then. He doesn’t see now how he failed Ted or Alastair in any manner. His story is completely narcissistic and self-serving.

Hugo and Jill both lied to Ted and dramatically affected Ted’s life and took away the information Ted needed to make an informed decision. That lie is now backed up with shaming Ted and victim blaming Ted: if he were to find out and abandon Alastair, he is not a real father, he is not a real man. And that lie gave the state the power to jail and imprison Ted.

I apologize to you Catie for using the wikipedia, but here is what it says:

Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse, which is initiated by one or more persons against another person without that person’s consent. The act may be carried out by physical force, coercion, abuse of authority or with a person who is incapable of valid consent.

In any allegation of rape, the absence of consent to sexual intercourse on the part of the victim is critical.[4] Consent need not be expressed, and may be implied from the context and from the relationship of the parties, but the absence of objection does not of itself constitute consent. Lack of consent may result from either forcible compulsion by the perpetrator or an incapacity to consent on the part of the victim (such as persons who are asleep, intoxicated or otherwise mentally helpless).[4][24] The law can also invalidate consent in the case of sexual intercourse with a person below the age at which they can legally consent to such relations with older persons. (See age of consent.) Such cases are sometimes called statutory rape or “unlawful sexual intercourse”, regardless of whether it was consensual or not, as people who are under a certain age in relation to the perpetrator are deemed legally incapable of consenting to sex.[4] Consent can always be withdrawn at any time, so that any further sexual activity after the withdrawal of consent constitutes rape.
Duress, in which the victim may be subject to or threatened by overwhelming force or violence, and which may result in absence of objection to intercourse, leads to the presumption of lack of consent.[24] Duress may be actual or threatened force or violence against the victim or somebody else close to the victim. Even blackmail may constitute duress. Abuse of power may constitute duress. For instance, in Philippines, a man commits rape if he engages in sexual intercourse with a woman “By means of fraudulent machination or grave abuse of authority”.[25] The International Criminal Tribunal for Rwanda in its landmark 1998 judgment used a definition of rape which did not use the word ‘consent’: “a physical invasion of a sexual nature committed on a person under circumstances which are coercive….

@Catie, how is it that so many modern feminists cannot understand this? Whether it’s knowing and malicious false allegations of domestic violence, rape, or paternity fraud, how is it that so many feminists don’t understand why a man would feel “raped”, and destroyed, and shamed, and abused, and not develop all the symptoms of a rape victim?"

Hugo responded at:

I let Anon’s comment through by mistake. Seriously, people: no more mention of any comparison between cuckoldry and rape. It’s an absurd and offensive equation, and I will delete all further comments arguing for even the most remote equivalence between the two.

And I responded with a post that was "under moderation" and then vanished.  I can only assume I have been banned.  

This was my post:

@Hugo, your last comment demonstrates how intellectually dishonest you are and what a poor and biased moderator you are.  I wonder (or not) how that reflects your classroom behavior.

Catie specifically asked the question "So does anyone have any idea why men are so interested in equating paternity issues with rape?" and then she gave examples.

If you don't want my response in your thread, you should delete Catie's question, not mine or others.

Otherwise what you are left with is one person asking a question, and people with an opposing viewpoint not able to explain or defend their viewpoint.  That's intellectually dishonest and not fair.  

Considering that my response was polite, on topic, and relevant, it's also disrespectful and patronizing of your readers for you to suggest it was out of bounds and that you would delete similar responses.

Now, in the light of "Nixon goes to China", or "We have to talk with our enemies to understand them, otherwise we would have no one to talk peace with", it shows where the bias and agenda and propagandizing of your blog is.  Toss out people who disagree, even when they are polite, on topic, and relevant. I, Hugo Schwyzer am not listening. Hands over ears. LA LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU.

You're dishonest Hugo.

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